Hi.

It's me God. I just wanted to ask, "Am I not working hard enough for you?" Right now, I'm really mad. Furious, really. I'm trying as hard as I can to please my mother, get a degree, get out of her life so that she has one less thing to complain about.

I mean, what did you want me to do Lord? Because honestly, I'm not motivated to do anything other that getting out of this house. Everything I need to do is too far for me to go unless I have my own transportation.

God, I'm not satisfied. I refuse to believe that this is the life that you want me to be living. Single? Not motivated? Angry? Who is that?! Because that isn't me! So why do you allow for my brother Jon to have it so much easier when I put in A HUNDRED TIMES more effort?! Why? I hate that! I feel like I' a "special" case child trying so hard to be normal. At least those kids have people to help them. Who is there for me God? Because half of the time, I feel like you've left me alone.

I don't want to feel alone. That is my worst fear in life. Give me the ability to know that you are here. Help me feel your precence. I don't want to be alone. I don't.